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SATIRE: If Adult Movie Dialogue Was Actually ‘Adult’

“Oh god, you’re harder than getting out of bed in the morning.”

“I need you like I probably need to make a dentist appointment.”

“I’m gonna be all over you like dirty socks are all over my floor.”

“I want you more than I want financial security.”

“You’re so filthy you make these bedsheets I haven’t washed in two months seem clean.”

“I want to ride you like like I ride the bus; sweaty and uncomfortable.”

“This is hotter than any meal I’ve had this week”

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